Happy Father's Day!

Simone and I are sending a shout out to Ezer who is still in Kazakhstan for another week:



***

A quote on an article about fatherhood...

Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will
continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the
exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their
involvement with their children is envisioned as being something
manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an
abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.

But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these
people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even
intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is
changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they
used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days
threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or
even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the
continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to
long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking
old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife
equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with
former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like
traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the
changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying
realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a
harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is
just not what he bargained for.

Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general
chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep
contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high
school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and
commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children
now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns
of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he
does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new
end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his
children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have
risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find
that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return
to the way things used to be.

http://www.firstthings.com/onthesquare/2009/06/on-the-demise-of-fatherhood