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I was in pain, really terrible pain. Tears came down like heavy rain. I had to carefully inch myself out of bed. “I really have cancer,” talking to myself, “this stupid cancer with a stupid name, Multiple Myeloma, incurable, stage 3.” “Oh no, I’m going to die! Well, everybody dies, but so soon? Lord I really want to see my two girls come back to you. I would love to see them get married, see their children, my grandchildren.” Oh, I haven’t cleaned up my garage yet. That would be embarrassing!”
I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a bone marrow cancer, right after last Christmas. Jacob took me to the emergency room. I was so anemic they had to give me a blood transfusion right away, followed by many tests. Beside the multiple myeloma, I had a mass around my aorta, near the spine. “That’s it,” I thought, I was a goner.
Looking back, that was the first thing I had to thank God for. If I didn’t go to the emergency room I wouldn’t have found out about the cancer and mass, at least not for a while.
Calvin asked me to share thanksgivings. I thought about it and felt overwhelmed. There are so many things, many events and many people that I thank God for. It is very hard to put them together.
What I thank God for:
The opportunity to examine my faith:
Do I really believe and trust in God’s promises, His love and His character? Do I believe that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose? (Rom. 8:28) Even cancer, God can use it for good. I think so. It causes me to be close to God, His word, and to notice His goodness. It gives others the opportunity to live out their faith.
Do I believe that He cares and loves me?
Ps. 142: 5-7 helps me as I pray to God.
Listen to my cry, Lord, for I am in desperate need.
Rescue me from Multiple Myeloma, for it istoo strong for me.
Set me free from its poison, that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.
Do I believe in His word? That it can give me hope and encouragement not just in good times but bad times also?
Last year we were studied Isaiah in BSF. I found comfort and strength in this book.
Isa. 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I thank God for my college roommate who continually sent postcards filled with His word to encourage me.
I thank God for prayer, for Jesus who is at the right hand of God interceding for me. Thank you for your prayers, my family of God. Many people, many churches prayed for me. One day a lady called from Indonesia telling me she was praying for me. I didn’t even remember who she was.God answered prayer. He let me know that he heard my prayer. I prayed for a room with nice view at the city of hope. I got beautiful mountain view instead of a view of freeways.
I thank God for His provision.
Jacob worked at his company long enough to be able to continue to receive health insurance after he retired. Our insurance rate was still affordable. My brother-in-law, David, sent us some money to help with gas and medication when he found out that we had to go all the way to City of Hope hospital.
I thank God for His healing. The mass near my spine was gone after a few treatments. My initial treatment was successful enough to allow me to have a stem-cell transplant. Now the cancer cells are 99 percent gone.
I thank God for His timing.
My entire family was with me when I was diagnosed. I had just stopped serving in the Bible Study Fellowship the fall before my diagnosis. Jacob has retired for over a year. He had a nice trip to Asia before I was sick. So he could concentrate on taking care of me. He was with me almost every day during the 2 ½ weeks at City of Hope. Every night he was there & gave me an excellent foot massage.Well, he still doesn’t cooking or clean. Sorry Sam, your teaching didn’t do any good.
Last but not least, I thank God for His love, care and encouragement through my family, friends and bro. & sis. in Christ. My children came home to stay with me often. I received many phone calls, visitation, food, cards, kind words and prayer. I am touched and very grateful for all your love and care. I can’t thank you enough. No word can express how I feel. From your example I learned how to care for others.
I thank God for His continued healing.
I don’t know what the future holds since Multiple Myeloma is not curable. But I know that God’s loving kindness will not be removed from me and his covenant of peace will not be shaken because He has compassion on me. Isa. 54:10.
2 comments:
Your mom's character and faith are so beautiful. All glory to God for His presence and answers to many prayers.
Thanks for sharing this!
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